Updated: Jun 29, 2020
During any given month I do a fair amount of writing. NOTHING LIKE as much as many of my contempories and when I closed the Club down (Covid19/overheads/not viable/commercial suicide /no one there etc).... I PROMISED myself I'd finally find the get time and dedicate myself to some quality writing - which I can do IF I am passionate about the subject, am in the correct stage of the moon and its tides ( I am DEFINATELY more creative at certain times of the month and that is post menopause so not necessarily that cycle- just need to work out WHEN the moon is best is all)....and am inspired. Not always easy. Most times once I get going I'll find the words. Occasionally I stall and have NOTHING! That's when I'll read anothers work and try to feel in flow again. I also pledged a blog each Sunday and its good to have a target because I am the type of person who WILL get it done even though it is now 22.56 hours! This month I know exactly what I want to write about and it comes from the heart. Its partly as I just said - I HATE letting people down - if I say BLOG SUNDAY I'll generally do it as if I have 2,000 followers (I'm not after celebrity numbers!), but this week I have let people down (it may be a handful but it still stinks! I promised a series of sequential stretches every day but here's the thing. I had no idea just 2 weeks ago when I tookon this new Studio that life would be so bonkers! Its been non stop crazy painting, ordering, organising around the lads also preparing it, and working right up to a 3m ceiling on 100% of the surfaces! (Even painting the ceiling and all the huge wooden beams). Two walls I've specialist decorated, and today I did a third, as well as marbelised a pillar! - photos will follow of course!
But an odd thing happened too. I made a mirror from driftwood - a friend gave me an old but quality mirror, I painted it all charcoal grey including the driftwood and it looks great! But the following day I was giving the mirror a final polish and it was flat on a table. As I frantically cleaned it late at night - I literally caught myself cleaning it in my relection back. It was a bizarre moment. Embarrasing - as you never look great with gravity pulling your skin down and looking up your own nose...! ..... but it was also the action of this crazy woman going hell for leather - and it made me stop dead and wonder WHERE all this urge to finish and get it all done was coming from?! Now I had a relationship break up 3 weeks ago and being busy (distraction tecnique is always good to get over it!).... but that sense of urgency too?
But also - I TRUST MYSELF! Leaning over that mirror it hit me just how much we've done (myself, my daughter and my kid's dad who is still a great friend (of 30 years+) - and VITAL in my decision making with his technical and practical knowledge, and the fact we worked for YEARS together back in the day).
And the financial RISK is always there but (and this is where the trust comes in) - short of a major recession I feel I can do this and it feels positive and a good thing to do. Best of all I also trust my gut - even though life has been a hell of a ride lately - I am not numbing with alcohol as I used to (not a lot but too often), and teetotal for so long now I feel strong - I know myself so much better.I'm also FIT!! I have the energy I always had - and I thank my sessions for that. Liek definately begets like with the fitness game - it never lets me down!
The crazy thing is my lease starts on the first July and I'm going like something possessed to get it done for that date (and might even pull it off) yet the likelihood is high I won't even be able to trade as a Personal Trainer/Studio for weeks! (Due to the regulations aruond coming out of lockdown) --- HOWEVER.... I just know I'll get around it somehow. I can retail for starters from there, start to promote what we'll be doing, and just TALK to people about my intentions (as I'm now right on the street and opposite one of the market locations on Thursday - what fun!).
EVERYTHING is being replaced (Lighting, Loo, basin, and sink as we're forming a kitchenette)... half the floor went in yesterday ... and I can start filming The Wilderness Workouts there when the weather is inclimate, so I get my front room back.
In harmony with the suggestion a friend had that I can 'design my life', that's EXACTLY what I intend to do. STILL the feeling of a pull to travel is strong (that was supposed to be with the man I've split from) but I am now free to go wherever I choose. There is nothing not to like about my future and I'm certain my clients will get the best service ever as I'm chomping at the bit to work with them at this new, intimate level, buzzing with ideas, and ready to take my career to the next level Add to that the beautiful locations in full sun this week and you can say its been a good one! (Snodhill Castle for Yoga on Monday, The Begwyns (different site to before), Tuesday, and Gordons orchard on Thursday and you have it all! Oh - and I sold my Trikeyesterday for the full asking price! (A great week!)